we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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