so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
