Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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