y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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