You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize