Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
