I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
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