we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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