i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
