I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
