The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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