how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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