I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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