Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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