I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize