you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
