$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sponge bath it is.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
