I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
