I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
