I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
