didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
