Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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