This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
