I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
