You're my little dorito
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
