He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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