The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
