You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
