Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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