i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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