I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
