I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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