So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
