New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize