Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you would pick up someone in the library
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
