But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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