i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
