Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
