How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
