just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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