No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
