Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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