I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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