At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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