When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Help. Why am I so naked?
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