no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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