Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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