Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
