we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
