Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
