she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
