smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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