Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
