so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
