grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my shit smells like andre
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
