and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
