How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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