that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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