What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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