I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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