Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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