K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
