This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
