just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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