That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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