just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
