You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
