I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
