the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
