my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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